"For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light..."

Tough Dating Questions

I'm the only LDS youth in my school, except for other family members. Who am I supposed to date if I don't date non-members?

Don't limit yourself to people in your school. Are there any youth in your ward or stake who aren't related to you? Are there stakes close by? Is it possible that an area-wide event could be scheduled to help LDS youth meet each other? Talk to your leaders about that. If there really is no one to date in your whole area, maybe you should wait to date. Instead, develop yourself, read good books, work on talents and Personal Progress, do sports, etc., until you can go to a place with a bigger dating pool. While dating is fun now, it isn't necessary. So if there is no one who meets your standards, just have fun with your family and friends until there are some. One more thing, work on reactivating less-active members and do missionary work, though don't date to share the Gospel. Invite people to Church activities. Maybe that way, you'll increase your dating pool!

I don't like anybody in my area that's a member, but I want to date. What do I do?

I wish everyone knew how fun it is to date friends. You don't have to be "madly in love" with someone to date them. Now is the time to learn more about the opposite sex, to find out what you like and don't like, and to learn more about yourself. Then, when you're a little older, you'll be prepared to recognize your Prince Charming when he comes along. Or maybe, you'll find that one of those friends turns into your Prince Charming.

All of my friends have boyfriends and I feel left out. The prophets say not to date exclusively, but I really want a boyfriend, too.

I know it is hard when your friends seem to always have a date and you wonder if anyone is going to ask you out at all, but really they're the ones getting left out. We're counseled not to date exclusively because it limits our experiences. We can't meet as many people, we can't have as much fun, we can't learn as much about ourselves and others. Later, your friends will wish that they had used their dating years to date more people and to be less serious. There's an eternity ahead to be with one person. Use this time wisely by learning all you can about choosing him, rather than choosing one person quickly and limiting yourself. Then, you'll never wonder what would have happened if you had tried dating someone, or anyone, else.

Homecoming and Prom is a really big deal at my school. I want to go, but I know that the dances just don't meet the standards given to us in For the Strength of Youth. The lighting is bad, the people dance inappropriately, and the music has bad lyrics and suggestively sounds and rhythms. What do I do?

You can still have a big, fun date, without even going to the dances. Plan a special group date using many of the ideas in the Dating section. Have your own dance in a parking lot with your car stereos. Go to a Church dance dressed up, if there's one that night.

If you really want to participate in the school function, voice your concerns with a student body officer, or run for office yourself. Volunteer to pick the band or the DJ for the dance. Help plan the music schedule. See if there can be chaperones that will enforce some standards of decency at the dances. Fill up the request sheet with good songs. Always act and dress appropriately yourself. And if the dance gets bad, don't be afraid to leave. You don't need to compromise your standards for the crowd.

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