Did you know that there are some BYU students campus who don't want jean shorts to be allowed on campus? They call themselves the anti-knee-high-levis.
Contributed by Minou
Our three year old daughter was participating in a family scripture study, in which each of us quoted a scripture in turn. When Ruth's turn came, she enthusiastically said "Adam fell that men might be..." Then she paused with a puzzled look on her face and asked: "Who pushed Adam?"
Contributed by John
GO TO THE BEACH
A man had been in business for many years and his business was going down the drain and was full of debt. He was seriously contemplating suicide and he didn't know what to do. So he went to his Bishop to seek advice. He told his Bishop about all of his problems in business and asked the Bishop that he should do.
The Bishop said "Take a beach chair and a Book of Mormon and put them in your car and drive down to the edge of the ocean. Go to the water's edge. Take the beach chair out of the car, sit on it and take the Book of Mormon and open it up. The wind will rifle the pages for a while and eventually the Book of Mormon will stay open at a particular page. Read the Book of Mormon and it will tell you what to do."
The man did as he is told. He placed a beach chair and a Book of Mormon in his car and drove down to the beach. He sat on the chair at the water's edge and opened the Book of Mormon. The wind rifled the pages and then stopped at a particular page. He looked down at the Book of Mormon and knew immediately what he had to do.
Three months later the man and his family came back to see the Bishop. The man was wearing a $1,000 Italian suit, his wife was all decked out with a full-length mink coat and the child was dressed in beautiful silk. The man handed the Bishop a thick envelope full of money and told him that he wants to donate this money as a fast offering to the church thanked the Bishop for his wonderful advice. The Bishop was delighted. He recognizes the man and asked him what advice in the Book of Mormon brought this good fortune to him.
The man replies: "Chapter 11."
P.S. For those unfamiliar with American Law, Chapter 11 refers to declaring bankruptcy and removing all of your debt. In modern years, some people have developed the practice as a strategic financial decision.
Did you know that the Savior was a Lamanite?
Paul said that He was "Chief Cornerstone."
Contributed by Steve
Q Lehi had a pet which the Lord told him to take with him when they left Jerusalem. Do you know what it was?
A It was a flea. The Lord told Lehi to take his family and flea into the wilderness.
During the Vietnam War, a group of soldiers were ambushed. Fire was exchanged and during it all, a young LDS soldier was hit in the chest. The others had no choice but to retreat, leaving their friend's body in the tall grass. Later that night, back at the camp, they saw a figure moving towards them. One of the soldiers yelled out, "Who goes there?" Out of the shadows stumbled the LDS soldier. The group stood in disbelief, wanting to know how he survived. The LDS soldier reached into his jacket and pulled out a pocket version Book of Mormon with a bullet lodged in it. Holding it high in the air he exclaimed, "Nothing, and I mean nothing, gets through Second Nephi!"
Contributed by PRONGI
Name a Book of Mormon Novel
The Headless Jaredite
War and Peace
A Tale of Two Lehites
Arms and the Man
Pride and Prejudice
Gone With the Wind
Jacob and the Giant Beach
A Senine Saved is a Senine Earned
Contributed by Bronson
A Farewell to Arms (Or, Ammon Rescues the King's Sheep)
Contributed by Jenny
Akish Secretly Gets A-Head
Contributed by John
Today in sharing time we played a "who am I" game using a somewhat familiar figure from each of the Standard Works. When the kids figured out that the person we were talking about was the Brother of Jared, I asked them if anyone knew what his real name was. I told them it was long, and hard to pronounce. One of the boys in the back said, "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt"!!!
Contributed by Shannon
[Note: The Brother of Jared's name was Mahonri Moriancumer]
Tonight the fulltime Elders came to our home for dinner....during our conversations one of the young men shared an experience that occurred a few months ago in their mission....it seems these sister missionaries had been teaching a "golden" investigator. On this particular evening the sisters called in to their district leader to report on the investigator's progress....The conversation went something like this:
Sis. Missionary:(SM) I think we really lost our investigator this evening!!! (in tears)
District Leader:(DL) Why do you say that, Sister?
SM: Well, when we left their house this evening, we invited them to read some scriptures in the Book of Mormon. Instead of writing down 1 Nephi 3:7, I mistakenly wrote down Third Nephi 3:7 for them to read.
DL: What does 3 Nephi 3:7 say?
SM: Oh, Elder....(still in tears) the first words this investigator is going to read in the Book of Mormon are: " ...yield yourselves up unto us, and unite with us and become acquainted with our secret works, and become our brethren that ye may be like unto us--not our slaves, but our brethren and partners in all our substance."
We were all laughing too hard to ask whether or not the investigator received any more lessons....
Contributed by D Jones
In New York City, a teacher asked a boy, "Who defeated the Nephites?" The boy replied, "If they don't play the Mets, I don't keep track of them."
Contributed by Kent
Q: What is Laman and Lemuel's favorite TV show?
A: Diagnosis: Murmur
Contributed by Kevin
Q: Why does everyone look up to Moroni?
A: Because he's always on the ball
Q: Why did the Lamanites have bruised knees?
A: Because of the Nephites
Contributed by Stacy
Ether was a little dentist 'cuz he "dwelt in a cavity"
Contributed by Diana
In the car on the way home from Sunday School, we were quizing our four year old son, Jonathan, about the lessons of the day. "We had a great lesson today", he said. "It was about two thousand 'stricken lawyers.'"
Contributed by Grant on 6/9/97
[Note: the story was about the 2,000 stripling warriors]
Q: What is the name of Nephi's horse?
A: Beunto (Wo be unto . . . Nephi 28:24-29)
It must have been a very common horse name. Isaiah, King Benjamin, Abinadi, Nephi--who prophesied on his tower, Samuel the Lamanite, Mormon, and Moroni seem to have very fast horses named Beunto.
Contributed by Jenny on 5/28/97
Have you heard why all the pictures of Book of Mormon prophets always depict them with large arms? It's from scripture chasing with the brass plates.
Contributed by Templar via S.R.M. on 5/4/97
A large family drove through Utah and really got into Book of Mormon culture. They didn't just drive through Manti, Jordon, Lehi, and Bountiful. One brother called his sister Amoron (a moron) and they all had Nephites (knee fights) in the car.
Contributed by Jenny on 4/24/97
Where do Lamanites go to dance? To Laman nite clubs.
Contributed by Peter Glenn on 3/3/97
I've always wondered why, if Abinadi went in secret, his first words among the people told them his name. Obviously he wasn't the secret agent type. (Mosiah 12:1 ". . .after the space of two years that Abinadi came among them in disguise, that they knew him not, and began to prophesy among them, saying: Thus has the Lord commanded me, saying--Abinadi, go and prophesy unto this my people . . .")
Contributed by Jenny on 6/6/97